Ongoing Coaching and Education
General Life Wellbeing and Behavioral Coaching
I believe all life problems, at their core, are variations on either A) I don't feel good or B) I can't change. Therefore, my general working lens is "How do you think, act, and feel now, and how would you ideally want to think, act, and feel?" That is our North Star, and we try to close that gap. Of course, we also account for the fact that sometimes our goals and intentions change in the process of pursuing them, and sometimes we actually just need to start from scratch, which is more like "I don't even know what I want."
The process of changing behavior and feeling good generally requires inner work and outer work. The inner work is examining our past, to some extent like traditional therapy. Since our current experience is based largely on how our brains and bodies - or consciousnesses, if you will - processed the past, we must understand how our experiences left preferences for certain ways of looking at things and certain actions over other, perhaps equally valid and useful, ones. We also must look at how singular events are actually connected to each other in ways we may not expect. This process frees us up to make different choices and feel better.
The outer work is creating new practices, and in some cases new goals, that actually contribute to getting what we ultimately want and where we want to go, as often we act in ways that are counter to our best interest without even knowing it. In some cases, it's useful to become educated in psychological or neuroscientific concepts that can help us understand our state of being. Outer work also contains the process of learning to take risks, and the right risks, and becoming more honest and exposed. This is where we use our new-found freedom to take new action.
I've found my work to be useful for clients who:
- have anxiety or social anxiety,
- experience depression,
- experience numbness or stuckness,
- feel lost or like they don't even know who they are anymore,
- have trouble speaking up for themselves or saying no,
- have harsh inner critics, and perhaps feel bad or wrong or undeserving a lot,
- live mostly oriented around others' needs and desires.
Romantic Relationship Coaching
Romantic relationships have the honor of being among the top priorities of nearly all people. They give us some of the greatest pleasure and pain in our lives. But relationships, while healthily including challenge and conflict, should feel good most of the time. They should add to our well-being, not make our lives much more stressful or painful through excessive challenge. We shouldn't have to have the same fight over and over again and make no progress with it, forever.
We'll look at your relationship and life history, and see where you get sucked into the same patterns. We'll examine what makes a relationship successful for you. We'll see where these cycles are coming from, what causes them and in what situations are they most challenging. We'll figure out what you need to go through instead of avoid. We'll look at all sides of your romantic life. We'll make a plan for the future.
I work with both couples and individuals. Individuals come to see me when:
- they are single, and not by choice really, and trying to figure out what is going on,
- their relationship isn't going that great but their partner doesn't want to come, so they are trying to figure out if they can help make some changes on their own,
- they are considering if they want to take their relationship to a more seriously committed level,
- they are considering breaking up with their current partner,
- they just broke up and want to learn from the experience,
- they or their partner just committed some betrayal and they are trying to pick up the pieces.
Couples generally come to see me when:
- they keep having the same argument over and over again and can't get anywhere,
- they are in a new relationship and want to start it off on the right foot,
- too much space has grown between them and they aren't sure how to reconnect,
- they are considering breaking up because things just aren't working but they want to make one last attempt,
- they want to pick up the pieces of a betrayal together.
Affordable, Effective, As Needed
My coaching payment, frequency, and commitment model is affordable, effective, as needed. Affordable means pay whatever you can, the intersection of what honors the work and doesn't add financial stress to your life. (My suggested rate is $150 per 50-minute session, but seriously there is no requirement.) Effective means this really works. As needed means as many or as few sessions (and at whatever frequency) as you need and works for you - even just once - no huge commitments.
I get that signing up and paying for coaching or counseling is a big deal, and it's a vulnerable relationship, and I do want to make sure you feel comfortable. Therefore, you can start by booking a free 20 minute phone consultation by clicking here. If you're more familiar with me and my work, you can also just jump in and book a full session on that same link. In general, I see clients in person in the Bay Area and over phone and on Skype or Google Hangouts.
If you want to get to know me and my services better, read my blogs or my book; in all of these places I do and will share tons of personal information. I'm also featured in two episodes of Kristy Arnett's podcast WTF Am I Doing with My Life? If you have further questions, they are probably answered on the FAQ page.
"Since working with Aaron, in quite a short time, I have had life transformations that I didn't even know possible. I have somehow found myself in a dream perfect relationship along with growth in all of my friendships and unprecedented financial success.
Through focusing in and working together on intense anxiety and other stress that has been holding me down, I've come to the point where I feel a lot more comfortable in my skin and have a greater ability to process my emotions. Simply put life is good.
Aaron's ability to take complex psychological concepts and find a way to present them in a way that will make sense to me and my life is what makes him one of a kind. His use of analogies and examples just makes everything click. I sometimes feel like he can read me and comprehend my thoughts better than I can express them myself.
I am so blown away by the trust and comfort level he creates and the true passion he has to help people. I think it makes him equally happy as me to see how much he has helped me. After going through multiple other psychologists and self growth programs, working with Aaron is what I've found to be the most beneficial and I'm excited to continue for a long time to come."
-Lincoln G., Professional Poker Player